I guess I should have learned how to swim before I went to the deep end... right now I'm near the bottom of the pool ...I have been sinking for the last 2 months or so....
Why does losing weight and keeping it off have to be so hard? I know it should be easy... don't eat junk and dust the cobwebs off of my sneakers... easy....
My plan was to start my program back up today. I have "kinda" done that. I have had the Medifast meals ...but I've also chiseled away at a Dutch apple pie that I bought from our church fundraiser yesterday... taking little bites here and there. I've also not had a single sip of water today... Diet Mountain Dew has been my beverage of choice today. OK, that's really sad...better go get a bottle of water from the fridge... now! .........MUCH better!
I did get a compliment today, a girl I know said I look fabulous. I said thanks and smiled. On the inside though, I don't really feel fabulous... I feel like another "f-word" ...NO, not THAT f-word! haha! I feel like a failure. I did manage to lose 97 lbs. Apparently, I thought after doing that, that I was bulletproof, that I could eat whatever I wanted and that it was ok. Wrong.
I guess in the end I can't consider myself a complete failure. I have not gained back all of my weight, not even a half, or a third... I am going to try to pick up the pieces and put myself and my health back together.
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11 hours ago
Hi Megan!!
ReplyDeleteYes, let's do this!
You will have to get those pie's and other indulgences all the way OUT of the house so you don't sabotage yourself. That's what I've had to do at least. Couldn't even have a bag of choc. chips.
I've semi-tried going back on plan, but then snuck food off plan here and there.
BUT this time, I'm truly committing. It feels different... like it did my first time. I Do NOT want to go backwards anymore. And I remember how good I felt being on plan too.
You look FABULOUS!!! Way to go girl!!
~Margene
I feel that way too after 25 pounds. I was losing at a steady rate but at 25 pounds gone I was bulletproof..and these next 5 pounds are taking me forever to get off! Just keep on doing what is working for you, what makes you feel good, etc. Life is a balance and it's sooo hard to find it, but good once you do.
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