Monday, October 15, 2012

Drink more WATER!

I guess I should have learned how to swim before I went to the deep end... right now I'm near the bottom of the pool ...I have been sinking for the last 2 months or so....

Why does losing weight and keeping it off have to be so hard?  I know it should be easy... don't eat junk and dust the cobwebs off of my sneakers... easy....

My plan was to start my program back up today.  I have "kinda" done that.  I have had the Medifast meals ...but I've also chiseled away at a Dutch apple pie that I bought from our church fundraiser yesterday... taking little bites here and there.  I've also not had a single sip of water today... Diet Mountain Dew has been my beverage of choice today.  OK, that's really sad...better go get a bottle of water from the fridge... now!  .........MUCH better!

I did get a compliment today, a girl I know said I look fabulous.  I said thanks and smiled.  On the inside though, I don't really feel fabulous... I feel like another "f-word" ...NO, not THAT f-word!  haha!  I feel like a failure.  I did manage to lose 97 lbs.  Apparently, I thought after doing that, that I was bulletproof, that I could eat whatever I wanted and that it was ok.  Wrong.

I guess in the end I can't consider myself a complete failure.  I have not gained back all of my weight, not even a half, or a third... I am going to try to pick up the pieces and put myself and my health back together.